I have reached the mid point in NaNoWriMo, and I do not feel half way done, I feel half way gone. I finally caught up on my word count, then I made the mistake of reading what I wrote and every fiber of my being told me to push the delete key.
In the Red Book Expose, I am taking not only my own stories and experiences but those of friends and co-workers. In my lasts chapter, I think I may have stepped over the line. You may be asking if I asked, and I did. But siting down and reading it, I just don't know. For now it will stay in the rough cut, but I doubt this story will ever see the light of day, or anyone else's eyes. But there is a part of me that also, wants this story out there.
In the current chapter I focused on the sexual harassment, front desk agents face on a regular basis. From being called baby, sweetie, sugar, which are minor annoyances that I personally would not deem sexual harassment. To guest grabbing hands and arms, mooning us when drunk, to making sexual comments, to down right rude comments about our shape and size. To comments, like can you repeat what you said, I was distracted by your tits. Sexual harassment is something most agents have had to deal with.
The question, is what happens when comments, become more than just words and guests act on their preconceived notion of who we are. This can be anything from the female guests, that smack the male employees on the ass, and proposition them in their rooms. To female employees being heckled and groped, to all out sexual assault.
I ask myself, is this book the place to tell these stories, or does it make light of a very serious issue in the service industry. Which is those who are paid to serve, have lost the right to limit contact to their body, and have opened the door to sexual comments made about them, to being hounded, to have a drink with me, come up to my room, the idea that you are just another item on the list of incidentals for them to use.
This chapter is making me second guess the whole project. Yes the men I wrote about a despicable people and I gave them no redeeming qualities, but the project was supposed to also be light hearted and funny, and I find nothing funny about the last chapter I just wrote.
Excerpt Rough Draft Red Book Expose:
As soon as the third agent left, the first mass of guest
came arrived. “Hello, would you like to
check in, I need picture id and a credit card.”
The guest looks at me and glares, “The room is supposed to
be paid for. Can’t you read?”
Looking at the man in front of me, who looks like a drunken
weasel all light shades of brown, small beady eyes, “Well, Sir,
the room and tax are paid for.
But I still need a credit card for incidentals, like room charges and parking, this was
indicated in your confirmation letter.
If you have it I can read it for you.”
The man looks at me like a bug under a microscope, “Well, I will certainly look at that
later. I don’t have a credit card, so
you are just going to have to check me in with out one.”
“Unfortunately, Sir that is just not possible.”
“Not possible, you fat little cow. It is possible. Now do it.”
“Sir, I think that you need to take a step back. Before, you say something that will require
me calling security.” I reply sliding his Id back to him, making eye contact
with the person in line behind him.
The guys stares at me,
not sure what to do, “Please move
along. Sir. Hello, I can help you over here.” I pointedly stare
at the man behind him.
The guest steps up the counter leaving the other guest, in limbo,
“I need picture ID and a credit card.”
The guest, hands me his id and credit card, grabbing my
hand, “You are not fat, I would love to ride those curves. You should come to the Ball tonight.”
Turning slightly pink, “Umh, Thanks but I work all
night. Are you parking a car?”
The guest smiles at my reaction, like a heyna on the hunt,
grinning wide, “Yes, I do a truck, lifted with a dual cab. You are the perfect height, so your toes
won’t touch the ground.”
“Well, I like to keep my feet on the ground. Here is your
parking pass and room keys, Have fun at
the Ball.”
The guest takes the pass and keys, licking his lips, “You are a spicy one, I love me a red head, always full of spunk.”
“Have a good, night sir.
Can I help the next person?”
This is just the beginning of a very long dark night, To events that maybe should be left in the darkness.
In regards to editing, Cave City. With the half way point come and gone, I am not even close to hitting the editing goals, and word count.. I have not edited one word in Cave City in more than a four days. I feel disconnected from the story. I see where I need to go, but I just do not have the drive to take it there. The story ended up being over 50 last year, now I have only touched about 7,000 words. Completion of the edit seems to be a lost cause.
Additionally, as I sat back and was looking at my current edits, I realized that I have made a mistake with how I want the story to progress. Do I move on from here, and change my course of action, or go back. As Abraham from walking dead said There is no going back, every direction is a question.
So moving forward with this edit, now every direction and path I put my characters on is in question. In a way I like this, I think this new path could make a much more interesting, if darker story. But then again this week has been all about the darkness in people. And how people deal with that darkness, the pain it causes them, and if it will destroy them, or make them stronger.
These last couple of days, have been hard won words. I want return to writing lighter fair. Maybe I will put aside the Red Book for the rest of the week and focus on either editing Cave City but this has also taken a dark divergence. Maybe I need to work on another project. I think I am losing, my resolve. Time to buckle down, dig in and push forward. I know I can do this.
Unfinished projects: 3
Words written: 32,666 <---that's a fun number :P
edits, I am giving my self a goose egg big fat zero, I have to go back to the beginning.
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