I am an hour from the mid way point in NaNo, my word count is short, now on both writing and editing and failure looks like it is in sight. Failure. When I consider this logically I know that writing and editing as much as I have and will in this month is no failure. I have accomplished something by the very act of participation. But the idea of not reaching the end goal, still stings, as a failure to me. No matter, how my logical mind wants to twist it, I made a goal, and I did not accomplish that goal, that is a failure.
Besides my feelings of doomed failure. Two good things, happened this week, the first was I broke down and wrote a very brief outline for the red book expose. Second, I realized that Cave City is not a lost cause.
The outline, it was on Monday night I realized that I my story was out of order, time wise, in chapter one I am talking about the May weather, in two about a cool dry November and 6 a hot July. Which stopped me dead in my tracks had I done the same thing as last year, writing thousands of unusable words This idea brought my writing to a screaming halt. Then I sat down and read what I had. Some of it is ok for a rough draft, there will be a ton of changes that need to be made, but in reality it is shaping up. This is when I realized that if I just reorganized what I have already written it can all remain in the draft. So I pulled out pen and paper, and sat down and figured out my time line:
Chapter 1 (may) first day at work
Chapter 2 (may) just another day at work
Chapter 3(June) just realized I am not studying enough (the five torts) wedding from hell
Chapter 3(June ) double down on studying (Homicide and Robbery) Group block mayhem
Chapter 4(July)
Chapter 5(July) the bar
Chapter 6 (aug) waiting sucks, little league nation
Chapter 7(Sept) Yes I am a failure
Chapter 8 (Sept) Mid life crises
Chapter 9(Oct) Graveyard, and the bar
Chapter 10(Oct) Swing shift to third shift insainity in sues
Chapter 11(Nov) UCC Contracts and a new guest
Chapter 12(Nov) Torts life and game day
Chapter 13 (Dec) Civil liability--Its freezing and the old man is dying
Chapter 14(Dec) Property and Christmas in a hotel
Chapter 15 (Jan) Second guessing and dead mans ale
Chapter 16(Jan) cold day in hell at the hotel
Chapter 17 (feb)Down to the line--
Chapter 18 (feb) 2nd time Oh hell
Chapter 19 March Waiting 2x anxiety
Chapter 20 March Ends and beginnings
Chapter 21 April Its a new day
Chapter 22 May I passed now what.
There it is in a nutshell I have 6 of these chapters written. Wow, if I can write 6 chapters a week, I think I might just be able to finish this thing. Now it is time to get back on my writing horse and getty the f* up and go.
Cave City is not a lost cause. Yesterday, I was working on editing another chapter, and the person next to me stopped and started reading over my shoulder, which I did not realize until they asked, "Is he going to sell her out?" Looking up, "What?"
This lead to a conversation that reaffirmed the idea for the book, and gave me a way to develop a character more fully. So maybe, I only edited 4 pages that day, but to me that conversation will help shape one of the characters, in a much needed way. I am thankful for someone stopping and taking the time to comment and ask me about my writing. Though I am still taken aback when people actually like my ideas, or what I have written.
So in the end, it has been a productively unproductive couple days. Now is time to take what is in my head and put it on paper. Fast before I forget what I was thinking. Lately it seems my mind is jumping so much and so fast that ideas fly out like butterflies on the wind, lost forever. I wonder is this a common NaNoWriMo side effect. As it seemed to happen last year to, about this time. Or it could just be me and my over caffeinated mind.
Now Back to work
Unfinished projects=3
Words written=19,970 now short about 5000
Words edited=6552 now only 11,000 short
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